Monday, May 21, 2012

in my thoughts - Expectations


We live in a world full of expectations, from the moment of conception, our parents already had expectations from us – boy or girl; a few months in, and they expect us to mumble words or walk a step or two; growing up, they expect us to be on the top of the class where keeping the colors inside of the line is the hardest thing to do. Life is full of expectations, some of them are met, but mostly are not.

The thing about expectations is that we set them, we set them high, we set them high enough that we need another pair of long arms to reach them, and then forget to consider that maybe it is unfair to put it that far above. We can try and reach them, but the reality of it is, we really can’t. I once heard in a class an interesting philosophy, the instructor said, “Aim to pass, and you’ll fail. Aim to top, then you’ll pass.” It was a few years back when I was reviewing for the board examinations; at that moment, I agreed on the instructor’s words of wisdom, that if I aim to top but failed to do so, I will at least fall on the next lower rating which is a passing grade. I know that I can’t top, I know it for a fact; but, I do know that I can pass, just pass. So I aimed to “just pass”…and I did.

People tend to set very high expectations even though they know that  it’s impossible to be met. People set very high expectations not because they want maximum potentials to burst out of nowhere, but because they know that something will screw up along the way. Expectations, they are not there to be set high above the tallest mountain just so people will come tumbling down in a giant avalanche. I am not saying that it is wrong to set expectations very high; just be more realistic, so when one tripped and was not able to plant the flag on the summit, it won’t be a very deep fall. Sometimes, expectations only add up to the pressure, and when expectations are not met, come the disappointments and the thinking that the person who failed to meet the expectations, is less than what he is capable of.

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